To the father of the breast fed baby
Pictures that we most often see of breastfeeding usually only have the mother and infant in the scene. However, the father plays a major role in the breastfeeding relationship. More often than not, the women who are the most successful at breastfeeding have a common theme - a sensitive and supportive father who is actively involved.
how can you be a part of the feeding, be involved in the baby's care, and support the mother all at once?
1. Answer the telephone or door when she needs to rest or would like privacy for a breastfeeding session.
2. Bring the baby to her to nurse and return the baby to bed afterward during the night or when she is resting.
3. Offer to burp the baby when needed during and after feedings.
4. Voice your support of her choice to breastfeed to well-meaning people who make statements like, "Are you sure she has enough milk?"
5. Fix her a drink or a snack while nursing.
6. Use your time with the baby for playing, changing diapers, dressing/undressing, bathing, soothing and comforting him or her.
7. Because breastfeeding can be stressful during the first few weeks, do not be tempted to suggest switching to bottles, but rather be supportive and praise her for the great job that she is doing.
Baby Facts Sleeping - Babies really do sleep a lot. The problem is, their sleeping schedules don't always match up with yours. It may take your baby months to begin sleeping through the night. They get through it, though, and so will you.
Eating - It may seem like your newborn spends as much time eating as sleeping. Babies eat slowly, and they need to do it frequently, so feeding will consume a lot of time. New babies do not need solid food, no matter what your mother says she did with you. Your baby's doctor will provide information on introducing solid foods into baby's diet when your baby is closer to six months old.
Crying - A baby's cry can break your heart or drive you to the brink of insanity, depending on how tired you are and how long the baby's been at it. Crying is, however, the only way they have to communicate. Babies cry when they are tired, wet, messy, or hungry - again. Sometimes they just want human contact. Sometimes they just cry to cry.
While it's normal and healthy for babies to cry, if your baby doesn't stop crying for long periods of time there may be something wrong. Call your baby's doctor for guidance.
Bonding - You don't have to be able to get down on the floor and play ball to bond with your child. Closeness develops between you and your baby through holding, rocking, talking and yes, even changing diapers.
Understanding your point of view Sure, your partner has hormones to blame her mood swings on, but why are you feeling so many mixed emotions these days? You may not be experiencing the same physical changes she is, but you certainly are dealing with many of the same, as well as some unique, emotions.
Feeling Left Out - Become an active part of the process by learning about newborns, communicating with the new baby, shopping for the new baby and going to doctor's visits.
Being Included at the Doctor's Office - These visits are not just for your partner and baby. They are also a time for you to have questions answered and for you to hear the reassuring words of your baby's doctor. You're not tagging along, you're a participant.
Couvade: Some men experience couvade syndrome, also known as sympathetic pregnancy. The symptoms may include weight gain, nausea, mood swings and cravings. Symptoms generally apepar toward the end of the first trimester, wane and then return near the end of the partner's pregnancy before disappearing after the birth.
Jealousy - It's not unusual for new dads to feel jealousy right along with pride and love and numerous other emotions. No matter what the source is - the time baby gets from your partner or the breastfeeding relationship - if you are feeling jealous of your partner or child, understand that it is not unusual, but it is important to work those feelings out. Simple jealousy can lead to larger problems later on if left unresolved.
Changes - As if nine months of change aren't enough, more are coming as you adjust to life with baby. Changes in your relationship with your partner, from sexual relations to household responsibilities, will continue as you find what is comfortable for each of you. Perhaps the most important thing you can remember right now is to always communicate your feelings, be they triumphs or frustrations, with your partner. You are still a couple, and these are issues that must be dealt with together.
Third Trimester Reality Check - The final trimester is a time when many expectant fathers really feel mired under the weight of impending responsibility. It can feel like a blow after the giddy excitement of that positive lab result and first ultrasound. While it is important to be prepared when the baby comes, it is possible to worry too much. There will be plenty of time later on to wonder how you are going to manage college tuition. Your little one is on the way, and right now your efforts and energies are best spent enjoying the last days of pregnancy. And practice your breathing!