Care for caregivers: Supporting those who support others

If you’re a caregiver, one aspect of the task you may overlook is taking care of yourself. The emotional and physical stress of caregiving can impact your health in many ways. Good self-care is vital for you and the loved one you’re looking after.

What is a caregiver?

A caregiver assists a family member, friend or relative with daily tasks because that person cannot do so due to a serious illness or disability. Caregiving may include cooking, helping them dress, tracking medicine, and transportation to appointments. It also includes managing personal services, like paying bills and talking to doctors.

Currently, one in five adults is considered an unpaid caregiver. Many caregivers also manage their own families, careers and schedules. One in three caregivers also provides 20 or more hours of care per week.

Signs of caregiver stress

The dynamic of dual care (caregiver and personal care) takes a toll on the health of the caregiver. Statistics show that caregivers are more at risk of getting sick with seasonal viruses like flu and cold and are also more likely to have long-term effects like depression and muscle pain.

Signs indicating caregiver stress:

• Feeling angry, anxious, exhausted, or sad
• Feeling like taking care of your loved one is more than you can handle
• Feeling like you don’t have enough time in the day
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Changing eating habits and not eating healthy
• Losing interest in things you once enjoyed
• Skipping your personal hygiene care tasks
• Abusing or relying on alcohol or prescription medications to get through

Ways to help yourself

Are you guarding your own physical and mental health as a caregiver? Here are some tips for self-care to get you started:

• Make healthy eating choices to nourish your body and protect from long and short-term illness.
• Make time for physical activity such as walking or aerobic activity.
• Get enough sleep and pay attention to your sleep hygiene for high-quality sleep.
• Look for meaningful ways to help you manage stress.
• Set time aside each day to do something you enjoy, such as reading, watching TV, cooking or talking with a friend.
• Get support from others to help you cope. Make a list you can share with people who offer to help and let them choose what they can do.
• Talk with your healthcare team about any medical support or local groups they may know about.

Five tips from a long-term, full-time caregiver

We spoke with Meredith (last name withheld for privacy), who has been a full-time caregiver to her daughter for over 22 years. Her daughter has a mitochondrial disorder that, from birth, has rendered her unable to perform any daily life tasks, including the ability to speak.

We asked Meredith to share the advice she would give other caregivers. This is what she recommends:

1. Plug into local groups (such as caregiver support groups and church groups) who care about your family and will help provide emotional and physical support.
2. Give yourself permission for self-care. Try not to allow the guilt of taking attention away from the person you’re caring for stop you from taking care of yourself.
3. Permit yourself to choose what works best for your family. You’ll receive advice and information from many resources, from providers to well-meaning family, friends and support groups. Choose what works best for you and the person you’re caring for.
4. Look for research covering the health concerns of your loved one. One size does not fit all when it comes to caregiving support. Look for specific tips and tricks for caregiving that focus on your concerns about your situation.
5. Find a support group. When possible, Meredith recommends finding a health-specific support group that deals with your person’s specific disability (e.g., Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, autism). If there isn’t a specific group, as in Meredith’s case, look for one group that will feed your specific emotional or informational needs.

“Sometimes all I need is a space where folks will listen, nod their heads in understanding what I’m experiencing,” says Meredith. “For me, it’s also often a safe place to cry,” she adds.

Respite care

Respite provides short-term relief for caregivers. Respite care support can take different forms, from adult day care to in-home visits and support groups. It can be a key ingredient to avoiding caregiver burnout. Respite care resources:

• ARCH National Respite Locator Service
• Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE) – Medicare and Medicaid program
• Sentara PACE programs
• How to choose a respite provider

How to ask for help

Asking for help is often hard for caregivers. We often feel guilty for asking for help. And we may think that we are the only person who really knows the best way to help our loved one. But many caregivers feel like they’ve taken on too much and wish they’d asked for more support.

Here are some tips for seeking help as a caregiver:

1. Make a list: People often ask, “How can I help,” but without specific direction, they cannot make a difference. List everything you do for your loved one–from the smallest to the most significant tasks. Now, look at that list and pick a few smaller, more manageable tasks that you can designate for someone else. Now you can say, “Thank you for your offer to help. Here’s something you can do!”
2. Hold a family meeting: Communication with other family members is key if you’re caring for a family member. A family meeting gives caregivers an opportunity to discuss ideas, concerns and schedules. You can also discuss the emotional and physical weight of caregiving.
   
   All families are different. A family meeting may consist of related family members as well as friends and support team members in your circle. Include anyone who is part of your caregiving team. The Family Caregiver Alliance offers helpful information and ideas for organizing a family meeting
3. Consider family medical leave: If you work outside the home and feel overwhelmed, you may consider a break from your work. Under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act, eligible employees can take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year to care for relatives.

Additional Sentara caregiver resources

• Sentara Cancer Caregivers Support Group (Norfolk)
• Sentara support group search
• Resources for seniors and their caregivers
• Sentara Health Plans caregivers guide (PDF file)
• Sentara Health Plans Medicare plans and caregivers
• Sentara Martha Jefferson Caregiver Center (Charlottesville)